LoveMovieJunkie.

Just saw a couple of movies... pertaining to the whole love field.
and some might be cheezy or all around bad movies.. but some moments spoke to my heart.. and i guess my heart is deciding to speak back.

Time Travelers Wife;

what i would do i would give

to feel grip your love kiss hugs lips

i could never resist

never restrain my lust

never restrain the thump

my heart beated but i wish it could beat twice the bump

give life to you breathe for you give you my last breath

if i could do

it

i would drop my life to save yours

for you and i so in sync our bodies synchronized

our characteristics harmonized

blended well together

you told me it will get better

(500) days of Summer;

whether it was meant to be
or steps in a certain direction
days counted and spent were looked at just as memorable
as the bad days
Good days lasted longer
i secretly cherished the fights... making up made life worth wild
vicious cycle i didnt want to stop
recycled our emotions

whether it was meant to be
or destiny telling me
you can't always have what you want for a long period of time.
you were all mine for my period of time.
you taught me to cherish my time.
6months of Jose; i wouldnt ever give back
even if fate made a mistake..

whether it was meant to be
or just a lesson
a figure in my mentality ; an imaginative thought constructed
that love lasts forever..
that people lasts forever..

whether we were meant to be
or not
i still believe
we were..
found love; but cheated life;
hapiness sought
Universe spinned backwards; and didnt agree
it wasnt right.
your heart reached capacity...
maybe i gave to many kisses
hugs
my love..
it was to much.

Just a memory.

fingers fragile to touch what you used to trace with yours;
fingernails unbitten, no bruises or burnmarks
no bitemarks

just mental pictures and videos i have,, so when i miss you i go into my 6 month library of memories and watch em like dvds.. pause em rewind em never fasting forward cuz the present isnt something i wanted but i have to be nice and accept it anyway,

they tell me things happen for a reason.. and that God works in mysterious ways..

they say this will make me stronger... how do they know?? the Lord took my strength...

purpose of life has no purpose when the person who made it worth wild isn't here,..

i fake it.. fake this smile i have and the happy make up with the bright clothes and the beach every weekend and the cups of alcohol and the blunts filled with weed and the happy music and the happy dancing and the happy bullshyt..

fake it to myself... to cope with not having you,,

pretending to not have even met you for one second and the next being such a scorching pain to my heart to even wonder why i PRETENDED when its inevitable that you will always be a memory to me...

just a memory,,

your love is..

just a memory,,

your kiss is,,

just a memory,,

so i'm playing my memories like how little kids watch the same movie till they know every single word..

i'm watching our memories memorizing your every worth..

she was mad cuz she didnt know what she had till you were gone... i could never be mad at that.

i'm mad because i always fought for what we had... but fate disagreed.

him.

your smile always brightend a room

your energy was contagious..those dimples in your smile told it all

no matter what life gave you, overturned obstacles and made them dissapear with haze

henny, goose, grand cru

and a smile..

the Lord works in mysterious ways.. but i can and never will wrap my brain around this.

always considered you my angel.. buti never thought God would take you back so soon.

Jose i scream your name

wanting you to scream mine right back

wanting to see you in front of your building... with that big smile and your tight hugg.



i love you.. i'll be waiting

a lovers plea to self.

a heart cant beat as fast paced the way your feet hit pavement when i think i need you.
am i imagining again?

am i imagining my insecurites playing relay races to the end of time and not congradulating us for making it to the finish line; you wouldnt be able to keep up.

my faults are to much to bare and you kiss em and smile and say never never never
would we let this go
let the best of us become the worst of us
even though we argue every night, the inside me and the outside me conflict everytime it comes to you..

dont let him break the gates and barb wire the fences let him get prickled everytime he trys to reach for our heart everytime he trys to climb to a better spot and stretches close to touch release the guard doggs

dont let his kisses on the left side of our chest mean anything, dont let the caressing and undressing and sexing and words promises and teddy bears sneakers clothes and movies break into our establishment we've finally made whole.

dont be a sucker..

Please don't be a sucker...to another hard headed sweet tasting bad for your health

just dont...i'm begging you self.

Addiction.

i miss his kisses from my lips down to my toes

i miss the way he lays his head on my chest and falls asleep

i miss waking up to his arms squeezing my waist

OMG i miss being with him for more than 72 hours..

this is not good...

my birthday.

im 9teen now.


Oh sweet Jesus..

counting

d
o
w
n

t
i
l
l

i am

2
1 . i need my OWN home...smoke ganja till i fall asleep. YUP.

day two

Wondering if he'll kiss my cuts and make them go away..


Or will he run in fear?


I've learned that I'm a very weak person
I care to much
Love to much
And I let people take what I need most away from me.


Ugh. Swollen eyes and pale face


Still questioning my existing.

day one

Massacred my existing I still question.
My happiness I wonder what's the purpose
No more self centered thoughts


Walking talking robot
I won't feel
I won't taste
I'm not gonna see

What's the point?

I ask myself that all the time.

smh at you trust...never on my side.

"Why are you even with me?"-currently thinking

love is never set in stone

but my stone studded heart is set on him.

the pain and joy of a relationship is all to familiar to me, so why risk a crumbled heart?

its the fact that he even WANTS my teeny crumbling heart...

the fact that his is still huge and thumping with life worries me to death..selfish it is

but such a big young heart ready to keep steady with a feeble one?
is it possible he could have so much love to give & its not exactly my turn yet?
20 years old and has never been in love...where as im only 18 and i've been through 3 heartbreaks?


do i love to much? is it really love that im feeling or am i mistaking this for something else?

this cant be something else because everything else was different although similar..but i honestly do love him with all my heart and its so different from a love i ever felt so why even feel hurt?

i'm losing my mind without him

going crazy with him

the balance is rare...but when it is

i'm in Heaven. :(

Calamity.

Yeah my heart beats on an off steady pace
cant control the hurt but its painted on my face

mac brushes wouldnt skill a smile if they could
eye shadows wouldnt shine light to a mind misunderstood

i'm told speak but i put life on mute
theres very few things to say
Just to be titled cute
normal
happy
free of misery
but thats my best friend
my right hand so we stay seeking company
my rhyme scheme fucked up
besides this poem
life dont flow like it did a year ago
stuck in a drought
most people assume more then they actually know about
ME.

good girls are incredibly hard to believe
trust
and understand YOU SEE

bad girls fucked up for the rest of us
no blame

behind every bad girl is a bad boy put to shame

its their own doing never know why they actually complain,

shout it out girl "YOU MADE ME THIS WAY!"

all i can do
put my heart on everything
trusting him not to break it, his is in safe keeping.

but i honestly want to know WHY do people want the worse for the people they claim

"DESERVE THE BEST"

& best friends are quick to judge
tatooing criticism across ya chest
cuz ya heart beating something real
pretend its nothing. FUCK how ya feel

LOYALTY IS EVERYTHING...

what if i'm loyal to my heart

what if i dare to be happy

past is fading healing up my scars

but people envy those with clear skin..shyt i did.


whats more to say? i'll cut my ramblin short.
but if LOVING someone is a crime,
cuff me up
take me to court.