the many faces of me when i pretend to be a model !

unbreakable x3.

He's taking the title and some people dont like it...well i must say i DONT CARE & i LOVE IT!

he takes care of me and makes me feel good everyway possible..its hard to stop smiling and i never thought that was possible! My family loves him and gave the approval.. and since he's came into my life things have changed for the better. Some people can't see that and try to break us up. But you know what.. what doesnt break you only makes you stronger... & right now our bond is rock hard. Rumors are rumors and the truth is the truth. at the end of the day Love conquers all... & yes i do love him with all my heart.

the newbiee.

He's on his game, my Jamarican lol; tryna take the title of my heart.. but we'll see how that goes down. so far so good.. =]

missing home.

1st picture of my next project of putting together all the photos i took at my Grandmothers house. I plan to make it a book and send it to all my family members. Hope it goes well =]

Make up to break up

Just thought how odd is it that i used to despise girls who wore so much make up... then i became one.

& its even odder to me how woman use this to beautify themselves..no ones ever happy in there natural skin. Honestly i'm not. Lol.

EPIPHANYY;

ENOUGH WITH THE SAD SHIT!

its a brand new school year, and this summer might i say was one of the best summers of my life. Puerto Rico & Coney Island dominated 2months out of my life and yes it was LIVEEEEEE. NOW THAT IT HAS ENDED UNFORTUNATELTY...I am now a college girl yes yes. even though i'm not attending one out of the state i still got to cope with being on my own..for the simple fact that i am never home.

I decided to update my blog because it looked OD depressing...geez i really needed that vacation. i emptied my head and my heart into the beaches of Isabella and San Juan. Also got some wise advice from my grandmother..everything fell into place.

Now, i will update this shyt every so often, i've been slacking on my photography and well i need to make a serious comeback. Although i do have so much new material that i will be posting, anddd i bet only 3 people will see it, i WILL make it a big effort of mine to pursue this and market my work because this is really a passion of mine.

Wuela told me to never let a man set me back and to never let someone else take whats mine. & i so agree.

Got a lot weighing on my heart.

It's official; i really don't care much about my life. i'm letting everything go the way it goes. i felt like a big part of me died today... i guess i'm crazy according to my mother...not normal she said. well maybe i'm not, it wasnt my fault i was born this way. but i dont wanna dig deeper than what it is already.

& to be honest.. i really miss him.

(Neyo-Part of the List) has been on repeat for the past day. feels weird not being held or receiving kisses and jonesin on the phone.. feel like i just quit smoking cold turkey. (well i'd imagine this is how it feels.)

but i seriously feel i have no heart left... if i do it's lost somewhere or its hiding.

i think i'm done venting for now...might be back later.

& So the countdown to graduation begins!

Everything is very bittersweet; i'm stressed up to my ears about everything, and these 'final assignments' are not helping. In addition to moving to our new apartment this weekend, i'd have to get my hair done as well as mani and pedi, finish my major project, help Shiyah get his shoes and breathe at the same time! while that might not sound like much...IT IS!

I feel so lost this week, lost behind everything...papers,boxes,and people.

I really don't want to go to college; i'd like to dissapear in the abyss as soon as possible. Or maybe hide under a rock somewhere and hybernate for 75 years...and when i'll wake up it'll be time for me to die. =/ ok that sounded a bit emo, but i'm just being real right now. I should be finishing up my final assignments as i type this blog. but i just had to blog i needed to let some stuff out...i guess. well...sorta kinda, cuz this isnt even HALF OF THE STRESS I'M GOING THROUGH!!!!

well..back to work. =(

imperfect.

I'm far from perfect and thats what I strive to be.
to fit your comfort and needs, cuz i want to be..needed by you.

guess i didnt try hard enough...i can't be superwoman
although he's always been my superman... i guess he was my kryptonite as well..

Exhausted.

I need a really big hug. I MEAN A REALLLLLY BIG HUG!
for the past 2 weeks i've been helping my family by working my butt off!
cooking, cleaning, packing, babysitting. why did they pick these 2 months too do all this? I dont want to seem selfish but hey man...i'm graduating from highschool, this is a pretty BIG deal since no one has graduated from high school in about a good amount of years. I've worked hard, and idk....moving into a new apt during prom week? really?... i guess i just gotta suck it up.

Anywho..i found my shoes for prom. yes they are sexy.

This is pittiful, since i'm so nice with photoshop...

Butttt i only had so much to work with, and heres a picture =] , they think i'm nice cuz of this..pshhh this aint SHYT!

Inspiration from a pic i came across.

Beautiful Soul
massacred with such detail of a young ladys' insecurity
propelled out of universe defying standards
believing the imagery of pencil thin is in,
eating thoughts as well the insides of her flesh,
creating a disappearing act without the magic
deteriorating herself one less meal and one more purge
at a time
reflections are disengaged while her mirror holds all shame
all taunts her hiding behind locked pupils
it's her scattered memories
the imaginary bulges on her stomach stretch like elastic truths
conscience is feeding her plastic images
facades as the new eye wear
see the same and be the same
as everyone else...
But this beautiful soul remains massacred with such detail
each imperfection imperfect-ing her affection for her reflection.

Miss Alicia Keys!

I absolutely love Alicia Keys, and decided to dedicate a blog entry to her. LOL.
Well if i could i'd marry this woman just because of how talented and amazing she is. Ever since i read her poetry book--->
"Tears for Water"
When i started reading it i noticed we had a lot in common, especially when it comes to writing.
I just hope she doesn't turn into someone superficial.
Alicia Keys is my idol and i hope to be like her one day lol, even though i can't sing or play piano. But hey a girl can dream! I just love everything she stands for.

She's even sexy all G'd up!




Her swagg is so crazy, her sophistication and additude just makes her undefinable..unique.

Mariah Carey.

I've been a Mariah Carey fan since I could even remember. But..recently I just don't like her music...
I loved every album and i do have every album from "Music Box" too "The Emancipation of MiMi"...after that i just stopped because every song is repeating itself and sounds like pop crap... and honestly in the new video with the Dream..she look like a BYRD! yes i said it.. you know why?? NO GROWN WOMAN SHOULD BE WEARING CLOTHES LIKE THAT! Sweety. You're almost in your 40s whats really good with the braids half out and tiny ass shorts and the lolli pop? C'mon.. smh.

ALLL I'M SAYIIINN ISSSSSS....
i miss the old Mariah Carey..before the plastic surgery and botox.

She went from this

*Gorgeous and natural*

to Plastic..=/ i mean she's still pretty but, i liked her as herself..even when her music was natural..but now its plastic like her. =(

Well, she's been replaced by Miss Alicia Keys anyway..

I still love her music...& this happens to be one of my favorite videos.


Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey



this one too, just cuz i can't decided between both


My All - Mariah Carey

Happy Highlights in the past month. =]

It Started with a Sleepover at the bestie house... When we had our amateur photoshoot in her room lol (hence the white sheeted backdrops)
Then we got into a fight with her 99cent weave.... and the weave won!
My niece Delilah;
New Born Beauty she is as well as an addition to our family. I babysat her for a day and honestly i didnt want to give her back. lol...i really do love babies, especially Her.
So that weekend:
Me and Tye bonded while
Shiyah and my Ty bonded...lol.
It was a cool weekend just maxin in the city actin silly.

SLJ SENIORS! ok so, yeah i might miss some of ya...just some.. regardless we are one big disfunctional family..yeah i said it FAMILY... cuz in the end i cant even front i do love ya'll deep deep deep deep down inside..lol
Class of 2009 =P

I love this Pic of Sammy, geeeezz i'm going to miss her

As for the rest of my chickset...*sigh* The girls i will love forever.

This day was by far the best day i ever had in a long time. & I'm thankful it was with the truest friends i know with the biggest hearts. College is gonna be hard without ya. *tear*