LoveMovieJunkie.

Just saw a couple of movies... pertaining to the whole love field.
and some might be cheezy or all around bad movies.. but some moments spoke to my heart.. and i guess my heart is deciding to speak back.

Time Travelers Wife;

what i would do i would give

to feel grip your love kiss hugs lips

i could never resist

never restrain my lust

never restrain the thump

my heart beated but i wish it could beat twice the bump

give life to you breathe for you give you my last breath

if i could do

it

i would drop my life to save yours

for you and i so in sync our bodies synchronized

our characteristics harmonized

blended well together

you told me it will get better

(500) days of Summer;

whether it was meant to be
or steps in a certain direction
days counted and spent were looked at just as memorable
as the bad days
Good days lasted longer
i secretly cherished the fights... making up made life worth wild
vicious cycle i didnt want to stop
recycled our emotions

whether it was meant to be
or destiny telling me
you can't always have what you want for a long period of time.
you were all mine for my period of time.
you taught me to cherish my time.
6months of Jose; i wouldnt ever give back
even if fate made a mistake..

whether it was meant to be
or just a lesson
a figure in my mentality ; an imaginative thought constructed
that love lasts forever..
that people lasts forever..

whether we were meant to be
or not
i still believe
we were..
found love; but cheated life;
hapiness sought
Universe spinned backwards; and didnt agree
it wasnt right.
your heart reached capacity...
maybe i gave to many kisses
hugs
my love..
it was to much.

Just a memory.

fingers fragile to touch what you used to trace with yours;
fingernails unbitten, no bruises or burnmarks
no bitemarks

just mental pictures and videos i have,, so when i miss you i go into my 6 month library of memories and watch em like dvds.. pause em rewind em never fasting forward cuz the present isnt something i wanted but i have to be nice and accept it anyway,

they tell me things happen for a reason.. and that God works in mysterious ways..

they say this will make me stronger... how do they know?? the Lord took my strength...

purpose of life has no purpose when the person who made it worth wild isn't here,..

i fake it.. fake this smile i have and the happy make up with the bright clothes and the beach every weekend and the cups of alcohol and the blunts filled with weed and the happy music and the happy dancing and the happy bullshyt..

fake it to myself... to cope with not having you,,

pretending to not have even met you for one second and the next being such a scorching pain to my heart to even wonder why i PRETENDED when its inevitable that you will always be a memory to me...

just a memory,,

your love is..

just a memory,,

your kiss is,,

just a memory,,

so i'm playing my memories like how little kids watch the same movie till they know every single word..

i'm watching our memories memorizing your every worth..

she was mad cuz she didnt know what she had till you were gone... i could never be mad at that.

i'm mad because i always fought for what we had... but fate disagreed.

him.

your smile always brightend a room

your energy was contagious..those dimples in your smile told it all

no matter what life gave you, overturned obstacles and made them dissapear with haze

henny, goose, grand cru

and a smile..

the Lord works in mysterious ways.. but i can and never will wrap my brain around this.

always considered you my angel.. buti never thought God would take you back so soon.

Jose i scream your name

wanting you to scream mine right back

wanting to see you in front of your building... with that big smile and your tight hugg.



i love you.. i'll be waiting

a lovers plea to self.

a heart cant beat as fast paced the way your feet hit pavement when i think i need you.
am i imagining again?

am i imagining my insecurites playing relay races to the end of time and not congradulating us for making it to the finish line; you wouldnt be able to keep up.

my faults are to much to bare and you kiss em and smile and say never never never
would we let this go
let the best of us become the worst of us
even though we argue every night, the inside me and the outside me conflict everytime it comes to you..

dont let him break the gates and barb wire the fences let him get prickled everytime he trys to reach for our heart everytime he trys to climb to a better spot and stretches close to touch release the guard doggs

dont let his kisses on the left side of our chest mean anything, dont let the caressing and undressing and sexing and words promises and teddy bears sneakers clothes and movies break into our establishment we've finally made whole.

dont be a sucker..

Please don't be a sucker...to another hard headed sweet tasting bad for your health

just dont...i'm begging you self.

Addiction.

i miss his kisses from my lips down to my toes

i miss the way he lays his head on my chest and falls asleep

i miss waking up to his arms squeezing my waist

OMG i miss being with him for more than 72 hours..

this is not good...

my birthday.

im 9teen now.


Oh sweet Jesus..

counting

d
o
w
n

t
i
l
l

i am

2
1 . i need my OWN home...smoke ganja till i fall asleep. YUP.

day two

Wondering if he'll kiss my cuts and make them go away..


Or will he run in fear?


I've learned that I'm a very weak person
I care to much
Love to much
And I let people take what I need most away from me.


Ugh. Swollen eyes and pale face


Still questioning my existing.